This is the place where I record my current learning experiences with horses. I’m personally aiming to become an excellent horsewoman, but the nature of horses is that they are truly catalysts for personal development. So, while half of my musings will be from a point of observation and communication with horses, this only reflects the way that I am personally developing. Because of this, it is my hope that you can relate to my blog on whatever level you wish. If you are a fellow horseman-in-training: good to meet you, it's wonderful to be on the same journey! But at the same time, if you are a complete stranger to me or to horses, you are just as welcome. Hopefully this blog will bring you some amusement; even if it is just laughing at how mad we horse people can be!

In this blog, you can find pages about my life so far, mentors, and of course, horses and my adventures with them.

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory..."

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

What about the Relationship?

I often hear people say something to the extent of: "It's all about relationships"... "The tasks are not important... but the people are" and so on (if nothing comes to mind, take a look at these quotes)

This may be very well, but what about the tasks and expectations that NEED to be met? Aren't those important?

Well, yes. But the relationship comes first.

I've sometimes found this difficult to comprehend, especially as there seem to be two extremes in this world. The goal-directed, walk over anybody, achieving type of people. And the 'put the relationship first, but never go anywhere type of people' (y'know the type that sit in hippy love circles all day...) mmm. Neither of these stereo types are what I want to be, but I've also found that walking a middle ground is sometimes harder than one would think. In an ideal world, one wants to have dreams, desires, and goals, but not at the expense of core values and relationships.

Humans are pretty diverse creatures. We are capable of having broad relationships. Our relationship with our world, God, animals, and fellow human-beings are some that immediately come to mind.

My horse, Blaine, has taught me a huge amount about relationship. My family have too. My faith in God is also based upon relationship.

I have big dreams with Blaine. Gaining Parelli Level 3 is one of my current dreams... which can be broken down into patterns, Parelli games, 4 savvies, lots of tasks... and don't get me started! Parelli Natural Horse Training is all about having relationship with my horse, but those tasks don't sound like relationship now do they?

As a Christian, I believe it's right to have a sound theological understanding of what I believe. Bible reading, quiet time, worship time, listening to sermons, reading books that show the Bible's historical accuracy... and don't get me started on that either. Does this sound like relationship to you?

Family involves work. Chores, time maintaining relationships, self-control at really annoying people (haha, my siblings, annoying? neveerrr..)... this isn't your dreamy, movie-like relationships now is it?

The answer to all these questions is, yes. That is relationship. You see, relationship is not the stuff that's shown in movies. Relationship is a genuine sharing of life. And life... as you probably know... is not always a ride in the sun! All these things that maintain relationships are important, but they're not more important than the individuals with whom we share relationship.

When I spend time away from Blaine, my priorities change. Instead of stressing about tasks, I miss his company. His sweet breath, his cheeky face nuzzling me. His presence is what I need and value most.

Time away from God (yes, God is ever present, but there is something about setting aside time for him...) changes my priorities too. I miss his presence.

Somehow, when I long for relationship, the nitty gritty's fade away.

And THAT's what people mean when they say that the relationship comes first. Learning to dwell in people's company. To be. To live in Kinship with life.

Precious times with Blaine...


  1. Hi Kerrin,
    Great to read this post and very topical, as I plan/struggle/try to balance my parelli life, work life, personal life and all the others...

    Thanks and keep them coming - hope to see you again in Parelli-land - I'll be back in Colorado in August (we met on the Fastrack)

    Jane X

  2. Challenging thoughts Kerrin.

    One thing that I have been thinking about is the idea of "what type of relationship". In a marriage one can have a marriage of convenience, a marriage of partnership, a marriage of hatred, a marriage of trying to one up the other, a marriage of serving each other and the Lord, a marriage of love and trust, a marriage of two ships passing in the night, etc. Each of these types of marriages are pictures of a relationship, some good, some wonderful, some down right ugly. But all are relationships.

    When I think about my partnership with my horse, what type of relationship do I really want? Will I settle for a mediocre, just get by, or a growing dynamic, provocative, mutually satisfying relationship? Both are relationships. One takes more time, effort, planning and maintaining. But in the end, it is more rewarding and fulfilling.

    Again, great thoughts!

  3. Hey Ladies... thanks for your comments!

    I think this post came from a similar dilemna, Jane. When life becomes more pressurized (ie one has a couple of pots on at the go) one has to decide what REALLY matters.

    I like what you say, Rose, about different types of relationships. Yes, the relationship should come first, but there are certainly different degrees of relationship! You essentially get back what you put in!

    I'm so glad to hear that you'll be returning Jane, will you be doing an externship?


  4. lovely to read your blog, I too am a christian and realise how important relationship is, in all aspects of life, values, principles,respect!
    What a journey!
    I am finding this too with my horse doing Parelli!

  5. Thanks for your comment, Tina.

    There are many correlations between Christianity and Parelli, I guess it makes sense as both are about relationship and changing your lifestyle!